Teach The Boy A Lesson
by ILoveMyGojyo
Summary: Peter has to teach Chris to be more mature in order to not anger Lois. But will this little prank war between him and the others get in the way?


_**Teach The Boy A Lesson**_

_**Summary: Peter has to teach Chris to be more mature in order to not anger Lois. But will this little prank war between him and the others get in the way?**_

_**Chapter One: It All Begins**_

_**Author's Note: This is my first Family Guy fic, so take it easy on me ok? J I watch Family Guy ALL the time and I LOVE that show. So, here it goes. **_

Lois looked on in disgust as Peter poured cereal in his mouth. Chris sat next to him pounding on the table.

"Go Dad, go Dad, go Dad!" Chris cheered as Peter poured more cereal in his mouth. His eyes grew wide and he threw his hands in the air, "That's the record! You beat the record! Hooray!"

With a lot of effort, Peter managed to swallow the large amount of cereal in his mouth and patted his stomach, "Now that Son, is how you get into the record books. Eight boxes of cereal in two and a half minutes."

"I'm gonna go get the world record book now! I hope they have a good picture of you in it!" Chris screamed, getting to his feet and running out the door of the tiny kitchen.

Lois sighed as she poured herself a glass of milk, "Peter, the record people have to see you break the record before you get into the book," she scorned, pointing out the obvious. She returned the milk carton to the fridge and sat at the table, "And I don't know how comfortable I am with you teaching Chris this stuff."

"Oh come on Lois, don't be so lame," Peter said, rubbing his stomach now.

Lois looked at him, a little confused, "Lame? Where have you heard that word lately?"

A look of guilt came to the fat man's face as he looked around with his shifty little eyes, "Uh…not Meg's diary if that's what you're getting at," he said quickly, obviously not realizing he was giving himself away.

Meg, who suddenly walked into the kitchen at this very inopportune time, was shocked by this, "I thought you said you wouldn't read my diary anymore!" she screamed, "I HATE YOU!" She covered her face as she cried and ran out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

Lois and Peter seemed unmoved by this outburst and continued with their conversation.

"Chris is very impressionable at this age, you need to steer him in the right direction," Lois lectured, though she knew it was pointless.

"Huh?" Peter said, obvious not understanding anything she was saying, "You know Lois, I don't understand big words, could you break it down a little bit for me?" he asked, looking very irritated.

Lois sighed and narrowed her eyes, "You not teach Chris bad stuff, you teach Chris good stuff," she said irritably, "Chris learn lots right now, must learn good things from father."

"See, that I understand. Geeze Lois, it's not that hard to communicate is it?"

"Sure Peter, whatever you say. So what do you want for dinner?" Lois asked, taking a sip of her milk.

"What?" Peter asked, his stupidity kicking in again.

---

Stewie sat on the living room floor, watching t.v. He heard a scraping noise and looked over his shoulder for a moment before looking to the t.v. again. He heard it again and looked around before looking to the t.v. again. After hearing it a third time he got to his feet and walked around the couch.

"EW! That's gross Man! Really gross!" the baby screamed, a look of disgust on his face.

Brian looked at him from where he was scraping his butt on the floor, "I can't help it, I'm itchy. I was fine until I went in the rose bush outside!" he whined.

Stewie thought for a moment, "I think I remember seeing the fat man out there earlier…hmmm…" he thought, walking out of the room. Brian continued his butt scratching during Stewie's absence, his eyes closed and his tongue sticking out of his mouth. After a few moments Stewie returned with a container, "Itching Power 4.0, the finest in itchy powder goodness," he said, repeating what the bottle said.

"I knew it!" Brian yelled, "I knew Peter was up to no good!" he got up and walked over, snatching the powder from Stewie, "It's on now."

"Oh no," Lois said, walking over and taking the powder from Brian, "Peter is at it again isn't he?" she sighed, "Look Brian, promise me you won't try to get him back for this. I'm trying to teach Peter the importance of being a good example for Chris." She turned and headed for the stairs, "I'll put this away with the rest of Peter's pranks. Just, promise me you'll behave ok?"

Brian nodded, "Alright Lois, I'd do anything for you." He watched as she walked up the stairs and out of sight, "Well, guess I'll go get a shower than."

"You aren't going to let her interfere are you?" Stewie said quickly, looking to Brian, "Come on, the Fat Man must pay for what he's done." He shook his head as she watched Brian head for the stairs, "Not only am I disgusted by your obsession with that wretched woman, but I don't understand it either!"

Brian stopped at the bottom of the stairs and sighed, "Alright…we'll get him back. But first…I need to get this crap off me." He walked up the stairs and headed to the bathroom.

"Good, and get the itching powder off too!" Stewie called, "Did you…did you get that?" he asked, laughing, "I insinuated that you have crap on your butt…Brian…Brian?"

---

So…what do you think so far?

ILoveMyGojyo


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